In high school, there is always that one friend you adore more than life itself. Where they are, you are. If they accomplish something, you are proud for them. Their family is your family, and your family is their family. You have tons of inside jokes, and everyone knows about how close you two are. You have sleepovers almost every weekend, and their number is so engraved in your head, you could never forget it. Well, I had a friend like that.
I had a close knit group of friends, but I only had one very very close friend. I loved her so much that I didn't have room to be close to anyone else, and I hate her for that.
As high school progressed, that friend slowly starts to pry your grip off of them. At least, that's what my best friend did. She started to meet cool, new people, and I was an old, worn out toy she was sick of. these cool, older people, were more talented than me, they were funnier, and they were hip and fresh. And she slowly stopped coming over for sleepovers. She stopped calling me, and she stopped hanging out with the same group of friends we've always hung out with before the school bell rang, choosing to hang out with her new friends instead.
There came a day in my senior year where I invited her to go out and go shopping. We had stopped hanging out because she always made excuses, but I was too stupid to see it, so I continued to ask her to do things together and then get my heart broken all over again when she declined. This time, however, she said yes, she would go with me. And she did sound excited to go.
A day before our shopping/sleepover excursion, she called me and told me she couldn't make it, because one of her new friends was having a party, and she got invited that day. We had made plans together, and she had chosen to go to a party she had found out about that day.
After that, I stopped calling her. It broke me apart. Without her, I didn't have that special person you could tell all your secrets to. I had my other friends, but I had never hung out with them outside of school or birthday parties. I was empty, but heart attached forever to the girl that stabbed me.
It's two years after my senior year, and I still hate her. And i know now that I'm worth ten of her, and she lost something great when she chose new friends.
And before, I was so upset what she did to me, but I realize that she abandoned alot of people. She used to be close to all of the girls in out little group. And now, with relish, I can hate her for doing that to them as well. I truly hate her.
And I hate it. I don't like holding grudges. But I can't stop. She was my whole world. And she destroyed my self esteem when she left me.
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